So, been off sick for a couple of days and while nothing has really happened...well, things happen.

I have to share here, becuase I have to vent to someone and it isn't anyone who can't hear other things anyway and most people I know would have all kinds of ethical conflicts and I just want to purge my 'fuckin' get overyourself already'ness somewhere. And not to hurt my friend.

She has no women friends, except me. And I'm hardly womanly with her. If we were partners, I'd be the bossy domineering one: oh, wait! I already am! Anyway, shortly after we 'did it' she 'did it' with the tattoo guy she's been all wet for 'he's soooo talented and sooo big and tough and soo rugged with is Angel tats and his Angel connections and membership --but he' s totally legit and works at his own businesses at arms length to the club and the 'crime' elements.

Ya rite; whatever. And since I was feeling a little bit I need someone to talk to and you're clearly going to have sex with this man soon so if I suggest it at least I'll be able to be frank with her when I'm feeling a bit, you know, guilty or conflicted or whatever. So, I do and they do and ever since...

I know her mother has done crazy things to her self esteem and she's in a crazy way super needy for men to 'take care of everything' and 'whisk her away' and stuff...so, deep background is that her hub (completely gorgeous, if selfabsorbed man) pulled her out of a life of drug and self abuse as a 3rd string fuck for some oversexed club owner in the district in TO (Larry, for god's sake).So now, the kids are a little bigger and she's feeling a bit neglected (selfabsorbed, remember) so she gets a couple of tats from the big, scary biker guy and all of a sudden she's in freakin' grade 10 all over again. 'do you think he likes me'
Vomiting yet?

The worst are the pouty ones:'he hasn't texted me obscene texts in almost a whole week; do you think he's forgotten me?' 'oh, most of the pictures he sends me are not shareable *giggle*'. I wish I was kidding. Or even worse: he was supposed to text me about when we could meet this week and he hasn't yet. Do you think he likes me still?

And I'm happy if you ask after my health. Is there a problem with us? There is no us, I guess, which is the point. She seems to be having more fun than me, though. All I can see is bad: bad feeling from a bad scene that will end badly.

The biker will move on or ...maintain this affair for years, perhaps. Worst case is that the boys are almost grown, she leaves hub for this nutjob and he get's thrown into the slammer for something really bad, like human trafficking (which I sincerely doubt, but tax evasion is possible). Then where are ya? I wish her hub were as attentive to her needs as mine.

The corrollory is that, of course, we find ourselves each in the best situation. I'm neither lonely nor frustrated, and you aren't either. I would assume. And I have the 'access to the equipment that I do so enjoy. Again, I wish I had a better handle on what I could do to...get you a bit ruffled. You're always so composed.